Throwing a party
by Tseecka Akeunah
Summary: Heero is given a new mission- to throw Quatre a birthday party! But everyone's favorite stoic soldier has a bit of a problem...involving tape, baking, puns, and all around madness!


Party Time!  
  
  
  
Heero looked up from his laptop at the young, nervous girl who had just entered his office. "Can I…help you?" he asked.  
  
"Are you Heero Yuy?" she asked in a trembling voice.  
  
"I am. Who is it that is asking?"  
  
"Oh, my name is Lia Kimaya. I have something for you, sir." She handed him a yellow envelope and stood quietly while he opened it. "What is it, if you don't mind me askin'?"  
  
"It's a mission."  
  
"Really? What is it? Is it top secret?"  
  
"It says: Throw Quatre a birthday party."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Are you going to accept it?"  
  
Heero sighed. "Yes. Mission accepted."  
  
"Can I help you?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"It's okay, you can say no."  
  
"No, really. I want you to help me."  
  
"Okay then! What should I start with?"  
  
"We need…a birthday cake."  
  
DUM DUM DUM…..  
  
"I have no clue what I'm doing," Heero said, bewildered, as Lia ushered him into the kitchen.  
  
"It's okay, I do."  
  
"Can't we just buy a cake?!"  
  
"That's the coward's way out." She shot him a piercing look that suddenly made him feel like he was looking into a mirror. "Besides, Quatre loves home-made."  
  
"Okay. You're the boss. What do you what me to do?"  
  
"Um…Get me the flour, okay?"  
  
"No problem. Mission accepted." Heero walked over to the dining room table of Lia's house and picked up the vase of roses that was sitting there. He carried it gently over to the counter.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Have you ever cooked anything before?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Ah. Please put this back where you found it. I'll get the flour." Confused, Heero put the vase back on the table. What the heck was going on with this chick? Those were perfectly beautiful flowers, what was wrong with them? He shrugged and went back into the kitchen.  
  
"Oh good, you're back. Can you open up that cupboard and look for a can labelled baking soda?"  
  
"Mission accepted." He walked over to the cupboard and began pulling down cans. Finally he found the baking soda and set it gently on the counter. He began piling the cans back up on the shelf. While putting away one that said "Cocoa" on it, he accidentally knocked over a jug of clear, vile-smelling fluid. It spilt all over the counter, floor, and the can labelled Baking Soda.  
  
"Oh shoot. I'm so sorry, Lia. I'll clean it…" he was broken off in the middle of his sentence by the fizzing and bubbling substance on the counter. As he scramble for a cloth, he also knocked over a small bottle of red food colouring. The fizzing stuff turned red and orange, bubbling up and over the counter, onto the floor and into the sink.  
  
"It looks like a volcano," he thought before the entire can blew it's top, showering the entire room with baking soda and vinegar.  
  
"Oops?" he said sheepishly before a growling Lia pushed him out of the kitchen into the living room where he sat obediently.  
  
"Don't…move…a muscle," she snarled at him. "And if you set so much as one foot back into my kitchen, omae o korosu." Heero stared after her. First she stole his "Mission Accepted" line, now she was using "Omae o korosu"! He would really have to get those copyrighted…  
  
ONE HOUR LATER  
  
"Okay, I'm done. Come see!" Lia called from the kitchen. Heero lurched to his feet and groaned. His muscles were stiff from lack of movement. Limping, he walked to the kitchen. His mouth dropped open at the sight off the three-layer, perfectly iced chocolate cake sitting on the counter.  
  
"Where the heck did you buy this?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"I baked it, onna." Heero blinked and shook his head. He better not tell Wufei she was stealing his lines. He might…over-react. He just nodded to her to show his appreciation. "So we got the cake. What's next?" she asked.  
  
"Um, we need to find a place to have the party."  
  
"Ooh, we can have it here! I have plenty of room and my folks have all these supplies down in the basement."  
  
"Sure. Let's go." They headed down to the basement to gather the components. 'This is turning out to be one weird mission' he said to himself as he trudged after the way too happy girl.  
  
IN THE BASEMENT…  
  
Heero cleared his throat to get Lia's attention. The young girl was busy puffing up balloons. She tied off the last one, a gigantic blue giant, and turned to him. She burst out laughing at the sight.  
  
"How in the name of Shinigami did you get yourself into this mess?" she asked him, talking as she would to a little puppy or kitten who had gotten itself tangled in a ball of string. Which wasn't a far-off comparison. In the process of unrolling and hanging up the streamers, Heero had managed to cover himself in masking, scotch and duct tape as well as wrap himself completely in the streamers. She giggled and began to unravel the paper from around his arms and legs. Heero made a mental note to kill Red-Green after this fic was over with; duct tape did NOT solve all problems. And then he'd have to tell Duo that some girl was swearing to his name. He was very confused.  
  
Lia yanked at a strip of tape that had gotten stuck in Heero's hair. It stuck fast and he winced. "Can you be just a little more gentle?" he asked plaintively.  
  
"Oh, stop being such a baby!" she scolded him merrily. She gave it one more tug and it ripped free, taking a huge chunk of the Perfect Soldier's hair with it.  
  
"OOOOWWWWWW!!!!" he screamed, the noise shaking the dust from the rafters. "That hurt, dammit!"  
  
"Sorry, but that's the only way to get duct tape out of hair. It'll grow back…eventually."  
  
"Omae…You're goin down," he told her. No point in giving her more reason to steal his lines.  
  
"C'mon. We've gotta finish decorating."  
  
"Fine." The two resumed their activity, Heero keeping well away from the rolls of tape. He chose instead to pin the balloons up in the roof and attaching them, with string, to the chairs. He was not going to go through that again.  
  
"Oh, stop being such a baby!" she told him as she saw him skirt the tape box by a couple of feet. "It's not gonna bite." Unfortunately, the mouse that had been hiding in the box chose that moment to jump out and sink it's little fangs into Heero's arm.  
  
"Then what was that!?" he demanded. "No thank you. You can use the tape. It has too much of a mind of its own." Lia sighed and shrugged her shoulders, hiding a smile. He wasn't exactly what she'd expected. She had thought he would be more aloof, disconnected from the world somehow. He was, but not in the way she'd thought. More like mentally disconnected than secluded-type disconnected. She smiled and shook her head.  
  
Soon the entire basement was decorated with purple, blue and yellow streamers and balloons. The cake was put up on a pedestal to keep it out of the way. Lia punched Heero in the shoulder to get his attention and asked him, "What now?"  
  
He looked at the mission statement and gulped. "Invitations." Ooh boy. He got a little worried as he saw the insane look on Lia's face, and wondered what kind of plan she was cooking up now.  
  
"C'mon. I know just what we can do."  
  
10 MINUTES LATER…  
  
"No way. I am not going anywhere near that."  
  
"Oh come on Heero. Stop being such a wuss. It's just a little lipstick."  
  
"No way. Hey, wait-a-minute. I said that already. Oh well. This authoress has a limited mind. (Gets hit by a huge mallet coming from nowhere.) I didn't mean it!" Lia looked on interested. 'I gotta get me one of those,' she thought.  
  
"Now, Heero." He looked at her and she pounced, shoving him into a chair. He sat there, stunned, as she smeared the bright red lipstick over his lips, and then pressed them against the envelope. Inside she put a piece of snapping gum.  
  
"This'll be hilarious. They'll all think that this was Quatre's idea of a gag and gang up on him,. It'll be fun to watch, especially the girls." Heero looked at her, worried. She wasn't just plain mental, she was completely mad! He began to sidle away, but she noticed.  
  
"I don't think so, Heero-chan," she told him firmly. You are staying right there until all of these envelopes and invitations are sealed, and that's that."  
  
"Why can't you seal them?" Heero whined.  
  
"Because I'm not dumb, and I don't wrap myself up in streamers like I was a birthday present…" she trailed off as a crazy glint came into her eyes. "C'mon. Hurry up and finish those invites. We gotta get presents next." Heero silently raised his eyes to heaven. 'Please God, kill me now!' he screamed silently before Lia once again pressed his mouth against yet another envelope. And another. And another…  
  
UPSTAIRS…  
  
"Lia, I can't breathe!" Heero's muffled voice came from the tangle of pink streamers that she was slowly mummifying.  
  
"Oh fine. I'll cut a hole. But just a little one, so don't go covering it up," she told him as she used the scissors to slice open a hole.  
  
"Thank you," Heero said sarcastically. A large ripping sound startled him. "Lia, what is that? It sounds way too much like duct tape for me…"  
  
"That's cuz it is." She sounded way too happy. This is not good, Heero thought. The tight space and small amount of oxygen waged a constant battle with his nerves. Finally the space won out.  
  
"Lia, maybe I should have told you this before but…I'm claustrophobic."  
  
"Oh well. Now for the papier-mâché…"  
  
"WHAT!?!"  
  
"Oh, sush. You want this to be a good party, don't you?"  
  
"I don't think Quatre's idea of a good birthday is having a "crazed" pilot jumping out at him from a mound of papier-mâché, duct tape, and streamers yelling Omae o korosu," Heero told her.  
  
"Oh, and make sure you remind me to get a baseball bat from the garage."  
  
"Why?…"he was scared now. Very scared.  
  
"Well, piñata's are made from papier-mâché. And the only way to break the is…" she left the sentence unfinished, but Heero knew what she meant.  
  
"NOOO!!!!" he screamed, trying to run, and falling flat on his face in the attempt.  
  
"Now look what you've done. You've gotten papier-mâché glue all over the rug. Now I'll have to clean it again."  
  
"I am going to kill you as soon as I get out of here."  
  
"Oh, I'm so scared…Done! Now what?…" she cackled evilly. Heero shut his eyes, not wanting to hear what the next wonderful activity was going to be. "Oh yay!" He knew anything that she was thrilled about would mean trouble for him. But he was wrapped in layers of streamers, duct tape, and papier-mâché. She couldn't do any more to him than she already had…could she?  
  
"What is it?" he asked, dreading the answer.  
  
"Now we wait for the guests," she told him.  
  
"Um, Lia? What time was on the invite?"  
  
"1:00 pm."  
  
"And what time is it now?"  
  
"11:30."  
  
"So I have to stay here, wrapped up in all sorts of things, an me being claustrophobic, for one and a half hours?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. That's about the gist of it."  
  
"You are dead once I get out of this thing."  
  
"Yeah yeah. Blahblahblah. You pilots are all talk." 


End file.
